i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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