I cockslap morals
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
