Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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