Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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