Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
