I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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