I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
