is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
