is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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