New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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