We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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