Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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