Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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