p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
