Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What a dumb baby whore.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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