you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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