Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
