i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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