i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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