he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
