Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
