i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
