Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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