Banned from zoo.
Again?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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