hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
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Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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