I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
