Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
