I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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