Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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