dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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