No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
