You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
