Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
