i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
