I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
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I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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