I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
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My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
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Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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