your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
