Please, let me fuck your mom
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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