I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
