i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
nutella sex= disaster
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
