No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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