He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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