At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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