you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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