At least make sure they are 18
Why
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
