we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
