i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
where are you?
Hypothermia
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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