I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
