oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
