grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
