I didn't shave. On purpose
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize