well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
