Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize