So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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