at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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