I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
