No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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