You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
