Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
