I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize