im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
